Austere Affections
by choco maribel
Summary: She was his bestfriend. He raped her. He loves her. She doesn't love him. She hates him. Will love ever come through, now that she's pregnant? DeidaraxOC. Oneshot.


"Bess, that's enough, un," he said while trying to snatch the glass of liquor from the drunk girl. "Uhnn… Noo… I-I caan still…," she didn't even finished her sentence because she drank her 3rd glass. She's not a heavy drinker and she's absolutely **not** a drinker. This was her first time, actually.

Deidara sighed and looked at his bestfriend thoughtfully. He never seen her like this before and he doesn't want to see her like this. Due to some problems, she went to a nearby bar and drank her brains out. Good thing he found out and he went to the bar directly to aid her.

She was getting worse, this worried him. He decided to stop this right now. He grabbed her arm and put the glass down and forced her to stand up. She never reacted since she was really drunk. Soon, he successfully dragged her out of the place.

.

He pulled her in his car and drove to his house.

The blonde asked for assistance from his maids to carry the girl in his room. He already called her parents and said that she's spending the night in his residence; they gladly agreed.

The maids cleaned her and changed her clothes then lay her to bed. She was sleeping soundly and her face was slightly blushing from the alcoholic effect of the liquor she just drank earlier.

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Deidara sat beside her sleeping form. His cerulean eyes scanned her figure. "Fei, you don't know how much you worried me, un," he thought as he caressed her head softly. He has always loved his bestfriend, even when they're still in grade school. He thanked the oldie principal who organized the costume party; it was the reason why they met.

He loved her so much and would do **anything** just to make her happy. Fei always made him happy, important, special and loved. She was his angel.

He leaned down and softly kissed her forehead. He always wanted to do that but he can only do that when she's asleep. He never told her about his feelings, afraid that she would run away from him. He would die if that happens.

He wanted her. He wanted her for him, only for him. He wanted to make her his.

.

He lay beside her and watched her. It was about an hour when she stirred up in her sleep. "Hmm… hnnn…." She sounded so innocent and sweet. He couldn't help but feel something inside him. It sounded to him like a moan. He mentally slapped his self, "Bad Deidara!"

And again, she groaned. He could feel himself getting hard.

His eyes widened.

He couldn't be…

He couldn't be imagining _those_ things.

He shouldn't be thinking of doing _that_ to her.

_She's special, she's a treasure, she's important, she should be treated right, she should be respected; she's everything_.

But all those thoughts flew away from his mind before he could even comprehend what he did next.

He had begun kissing her.

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His lips touched her cheek, then jaw line, down her neck. He lifted his head up and finally, he kissed her lips softly, for the first time. It was probably the best thing he ever tasted, her lips. He kept kissing the motionless girl until her lungs involuntarily begged for air. He pulled away but not short after he pressed his lips against hers again.

His kisses went more passionate and hard; he began pushing his tongue inside her. He was moaning as he imagined mental images of what he's doing to her right now. Soon, he heard her moan.

He slowly unbuttoned her night blouse and left her lips to kiss her chest. He was losing control. He kept telling his self to stop but his heart told him to continue. She was moaning unconsciously every time he sucked her breasts and wrapping her arms around him.

"W-Who are yooouu?" she asked weakly after moaning. He just smiled, "It's me, your lover, un." She smiled back, "Ooh, really?" Then she gasped when he skillfully pulled her top off and threw it off the bed. Next he pulled off her shorts, leaving her only in her underwear.

"I love you so much, un. I'm so sorry," he murmured. He wrapped his strong arms around her body as if claiming her as his, sensually caressing her sides. Countless moans escaped her lips.

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After series of kissing, she suddenly begged for him to stop.

"Deidara… stop, please stop. I-I don't want anymore," she murmured. He already got so aroused that he didn't want to stop anymore. He spread her arms and legs apart. "Please stop," she pleaded as if she has gained consciousness. "No, not now Fei. I need you," he growled between her breasts. "Mmm… stop. We can't do this…," she said weakly while struggling from his grasp.

He pinned her down the bed and nipped her neck. "I love you so much… I've waited long enough, unn," he whispered seductively. "D-Dei… I… I'm not ready," she moaned when he rubbed his self against her.

.

She screamed in pain and small blood trickled down her thighs as he slammed into her. "Ahh! Stop! It-It hurts!" He looked down at her in pity, "I'm so sorry, un. It will be over soon, I promise."

.

"Ahh… Deidara!" she screamed against him. Sweat covered their naked bodies. It's already 2 hours or so and they had their 4th orgasm. Fei gripped on his long golden locks. He thrusted harder and deeper until she screamed for the final time.

He collapsed on top of her while panting. He nuzzled his face against her soft chest with his arms around her possessively. He looked at her, she was asleep. He smiled and closed his eyes. "I love you so much, Fei."

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A soft yawn escaped her lips the next morning. Her eyes opened and adjusted to the bright ray of light coming through the window. She looked at the floor, the walls and the ceiling; this is not her room. She tried to remember everything that happened last night.

"I went to the bar, got drunk, saw Deidara, black-out then…," she stopped to look at the person she just noticed sleeping beside her. Her eyes widened; she saw her bestfriend… half-naked covered with blanket. She examined herself; her eyes widened more with her gasp of horror. She too, naked with only a blanket to cover herself. "Oh my God," she whispered in disbelief.

She immediately pulled the covers closer to her. She stared at the blonde in horror. "Did something happen… l-last night?" she asked herself. Her eyes noticed some red stains on the bed sheets and she almost screamed. She tried moving but her body is aching, especially between her legs.

Tears uncontrollably poured out of her eyes. "Something really happened," she cried softly to herself. "D-Deidara…. How c-could you?" she sobbed. The blonde slowly moved from his position and rolled over only to face a crying Fei.

He immediately bolted awake.

"Fei, I-I…-"

"How could you?" she asked completely cutting him off. "How could you do this to me?" she snarled.

"Fei, I can-"

"Deidara I trusted you," she cried. "I never thought you would do this dreadful thing to me, you…," she flinched, "You raped me!" Her tears flowed down her cheeks.

"Fei, I'm so sorry. I haven't controlled myself. I, I-I love you, Fei!" he blurted out. She stared at him; she didn't know how to react. "What?" she asked. "You love me?" her eyes portrayed sadness, "How could you love me? Is that how you love? You take advantage of them??" she asked angrily.

"Fei, I'm sorry, un," he said weakly, "I didn't know it will come into this."

" You should have thought first before you molested me!" she screamed. He attempted to hug her but she slapped him in the face. "Don't you ever touch me!" She got out of his bed and grabbed her clothes.

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"Fei, listen!" he said but she ignored him as she ran downstairs.

But she never listened. She was so hurt. She never imagined that her one and only bestfriend could do that to her. She had trusted him too much. Her heart wanted to listen to him but her mind refuses to do so. She went out of the big door and out of the mansion.

"Fei, listen! Please let me explain, un!" he cried.

But she got a cab and gone away.

.

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She came home and was greeted by her mother's calm and smiling face. "I've heard you spent the night in Deidara's" she asked. Fei flinched inside but managed to smile, "Y-Yes." She immediately excused herself and went to her room.

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She threw herself on her bed and cried her heart out. It was not easy to pretend nothing's happened. Different emotions rushed to her; fear, worry, sadness, anger, hate and confusion. "Deidara, why?" she sobbed.

.

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The shower just kept on pouring…

She stared blankly on the tiled walls of the bathroom ash she unconsciously scrubbed her body with washcloth. She felt dirty, used and broken. She hated Deidara but she hated herself more. If not for her being drunk, everything wouldn't have happened.

She scrubbed her skin until it turned red…

Soon, salty tears started flowing down her eyes again. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed. "Oh Lord, please help me …" she whispered as she closed her eyes.

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Dressed in her night gown, she weakly got into bed and buried her face into her softest pillows. Hoping that it will ease her pains away, she decided to sleep.

.

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Her eyes shot open as she gave out a silent scream. Cold sweat rolled down her face. "A dream," she whispered. When she looked at the window, it's already night time. "Just a dream," she told herself.

But the hurt was still there.

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She heard her cp rang. With a shaky hand, she slowly reached for it. Her heart throbbed,

It was him.

She quickly let go of the phone and grabbed her pillow close.

"No… No… Don't touch me…."

It continued to ring, frightening her more.

"N-No… stop…," fragments of that night suddenly came rushing to her.

She gripped on her head and shut her eyes tight. She was shaking her head, "No, no, no!"

"NO!!" she picked up the cp and threw it against the wall. It was so hard that it small pieces.

Her mom rushed inside her room in shock. "Fei? Fei!" she rushed to her daughter's side. Fei could feel her mother's warm comforting arms around her. She couldn't take it anymore, she bursted into tears. "Mo-Mommy!! I-I I'm scared!!" she cried. "Fei! What happened? Did something happen last night?" her mother asked worriedly. "Mommy!!" she was wailing now. Her mother can't control her shaking.

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----

"I love your daughter very much, Sir," he said firmly. Fei's father sighed. "We have treated you like our own son. We didn't expect this to happen," he said. Deidara hung his head for awhile but held it high and proudly not short after. He needed to prove his self-worth; he needed to prove that his love is true and sincere. "I'm ready to carry the responsibility regarding your daughter, sir," he said. "Are you going to take care of her? To love her?" Fei's mother interrupted. "Yes, un," he answered.

"It is settled then. Deidara, you are going to marry our daughter, Fei." That was the decision. Fei bolted from her seat. "You can't do that!" she opposed. They all stared at her. Deidara's sapphire eyes reflected sadness and hurt. He knew she wouldn't want him anymore, for what he's done to her.

"You are marrying Deidara Iwa, Fei! Stop bragging like a little child-"she cut her father off, "It's easy to say that because it's not who got violated!" she snarled. SLAP! She felt a sharp pain on her cheek. Her father slapped her. She could hear her mother gasp.

"Please stop," Deidara said. "If you want or family's reputation to remain clean, you better think it over," her father told her coldly. She watched her parents go out of the room, leaving her alone with the man she hated most. Fei glared angrily down the floor. "If not for him being father's favorite, he would've gone to jail," she thought angrily. She never had any friends because of her strict father but only Deidara survived his strictness. And it's because her father like him.

And this is what he's been planning, getting Deidara to marry her.

And it's all because of business reasons.

Of course, she can't do anything about it.

.

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It has been almost 3 days since she moved into her new home, their new home.

"Fei, un, don't you like it?" Deidara asked. She looked at him and said nothing. He sighed. It has always been like this. She wouldn't talk to him; she just ignores him all day. When he attempts to touch her, she would flinch. And it hurts him a lot. Before, they were like kids. They would talk, eat, and laugh together.

Suddenly, she sat up and ran to the bathroom. He ran after her but she locked the door. He heard her threw up then heard her flush the toilet.

_She was throwing up_.

He couldn't help but smile.

This means she's carrying something inside her. She's pregnant. She's going to have a baby, and it's his. He knocked but this was answered by a small sobbing. This greatly alarmed him. "Fei, Fei? Fei! Open up! What's happening?!"

He grabbed the key hanging on the nail up the bathroom door and opened it up. There he saw Fei, on a very poor state. A pang of guilt hit his chest. She was miserably crying, she was so helpless. He walked towards her kneeled down her side. "Fei, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel like this, un," he murmured. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, ignoring her flinching. "Deidara… I-I… Don't touch me!" she pushed him away. She stood up and ran out.

.

She was throwing up again. And at the same time, she's crying. Of course he can't do anything. He would only cause her to freak out.

Fei cried, she didn't like this. She never liked this. She wasn't sure but she thinks she is pregnant. She has morning sickness, mood swings and she doesn't like the smell of some foods. It somehow made her feel afraid and for some reasons, she was worried. "Damn… Why is this happening to me?!" She hated everything. "Why does it have to end like this?! Damn this life!" she kicked the rag on the bathroom. "Somebody, please help me" she whispered. But she knew she's alone in this problem, with no one to neither help her nor comfort her.

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Days have gone to weeks, and the girl was certain that she was indeed pregnant. She could feel the change in her. She also noticed that her period hasn't come up yet.

Deidara was telling her to go with him to the doctor and have her checked.

And that's why she's so worried right now.

"Are you fine Fei?" asked the blonde. "Hn," was her only reply. He never stopped caring about her even though she doesn't show any sign of trust to him. He started the engine and drove to the hospital

.

"Congratulations! Your wife is pregnant," announced the doctor. Deidara was so happy but Fei doesn't seem to show any sign of happiness. He turned to her, "Did you hear that Fei, un? You're going to be a mommy soon." She simply nodded calmly and looked down on her tummy. She ran her hand across it softly. "Don't worry Fei, we'll take care of it together," he said while caressing her head.

It surprised her; she seemed to feel her burden getting lighter.

.

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She was alone in her room and lying on her bed. Strings of thoughts went through her mind. She didn't notice a single tear roll down her face. Just then, Deidara entered the room. "Fei, are you okay, un?" came his soft voice. Deep in her heart she knew she was longing to hug her bestfriend. She stared at him with sad eyes. She couldn't help but cry.

"D-Deidara…," she murmured, her voice was almost cracking. He slowly stepped in and walked towards her side. "What' wrong, un?" he asked. "I-I'm scared…," she confessed. He sat beside her, "Don't be afraid, I'm here." "Deidara, I-I don't think I can handle this. I don't want this baby," she cried. He was slightly taken aback but he knew this was coming. "No Fei, you want that baby. It's just that you're not yet ready for it, un," he smiled, "Don't worry, I'll be here to help you everytime." She sighed and stopped crying.

"What if… What if I'm not gonna be a good mother?" she asked. "Will you get angry? Shout at me? Hurt me and beat me like what some men do to their wives?" she asked fearfully. "Of course not un! I'll never ever do that to you," he answered. "You don't know how much I love you Fei." Her eyes softened, "Deidara."

He cupped her cheek carefully and slowly leaned closer to her. "I love you so much," he whispered. Oddly, she didn't react. She just let him. They were only few centimeters away from each other; she could feel his breath against her lips. She closed her eyes and he did the same. Then his cellphone rang. They turned away and he looked down his cp.

"I'm sorry, un," he murmured. She smiled and closed her eyes to sleep. "Good night, Fei," he said and to his great surprise, she answered. "Good night Dei." He went out not short after.

He almost threw the phone away. "Damn, that was close!" he said angrily to his cp.

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Since that night, everything changed.

She began to smile, to laugh and to talk. She also began to care for the baby.

"Fei, would you like to have some coffee?" he asked. She thought for awhile, "Is that good for the baby?" He chuckled, "Hmm, I don't think that would do any harm." She smiled, "Fine."

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"Eew… what's that?" she asked. "Garlic bread, would you like some, un?" he asked. "N-No thanks… I don't think I'll like its odor," she answered. "Then I should stop eating garlic bread," he said. "Hey, I didn't say that you should stop eating that!" she retorted defensively. "It's okay to eat garlic bread," she said. "Fei?" he called. "Can you come here for awhile?"

He suddenly pulled her into a soft hug. He massaged her tummy. "How's the baby, un?" he asked. "It's fine, I guess, "she answered. He felt _it_ kicked. "See?" she giggled.

.

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It was their first time to go out since she was pregnant. Deidara was having a hard time. "Are you sure you want that, un?" he asked. "Yup, sushi filled with gummy bears," she answered simply. Awhile ago, he almost fainted when she asked for burger with no patty, just a large flat lollipop inside; and it was in the MacDonald's, people were looking at them. "Something normal, un?" he suggested. She sighed. "Fine, ramen," he almost rejoiced, "with chocolate on top."

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Fei wondered what he's doing in the kitchen so she checked. And she almost giggled, he was cooking. Normally he would ask a maid to do that. She never saw him cook before. She was so busy spying on him when he suddenly hissed in pain. Alarmed, she immediately rushed to his side. "Are you oaky?" she asked worriedly. "Y-Yes, this is nothing, un," he answered but when she looked, it was bleeding.

"Dei, c-can I suck it?" she asked. A blush formed on his face, "O-Okay." She gently took it in her mouth and started sucking it. The pain has gone away. "Thanks, un," he murmured. "Come," she held his arm gently and guided him out of the kitchen. She let him seat in the couch and she ran somewhere. When she came back, she was holding a med kit.

Soon, she was treating his wound. It was a small cut but it worried her. She kept blowing over his wound to keep it from stinging. "There," it was finished. "Are you fine now, Deidara?" she asked softly. "Y-Yes, un," he stuttered while he blushed. "I'll do it," she said. "You'll cook?" he asked. "Yup," she grinned.

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They were in the bedroom, lying on the bed. Fei lay on his lap while he caressed her head softly. She was holding her already-getting-big stomach. "Deidara-kun, what will it be?" she asked absent-mindedly, "Will it be a boy or a girl?" He looked down at her, "Boy or girl, either way I'm sure the baby will be lovely." She smiled, "Deidara-kun," she crawled up to his chest. Deidara couldn't control his blushing anymore. She hugged him, "I wish we could stay like this forever."

.

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"My, it's really raining very hard," she commented. It was a rainy Friday night. It was also cold, Fei hugged herself. She closed her eyes while listening to the sound of raindrops falling and splashing on the window. Suddenly, she was covered with something warm and cozy. She opened her eyes and turned her head around only to see Deidara hugging her; she couldn't help but blush. "You were freezing, hm." Fei almost shivered in his deep warm voice. "Thanks," she murmured. She felt his hug tighten. "I love you," he whispered. She bit her lower lip to stop herself from smiling. Fei felt his sincerity through his words. He has done so much for her yet there she was, making his life miserable.

She turned around and hugged him. "Deidara..," she said against his chest. She looked up to him with eyes filled with unknown feeling. She held his face softly, "Dei… dara.." He took it as a hint. He leaned down and caught her lips in a gentle manner. He pulled away but he remained close to her lips. "I love you so much," he whispered and kissed her again. Fei wrapped her arms around his neck, "Dei… mm… Deidara… can you wait for me?" she asked between kisses. "I'll wait forever," he murmured.

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His eyes stared onto her sleeping form, silently wishing she could say those 3 little words to him. "Fei… I love you," he whispered. Deidara leaned down and kissed her forehead lightly. Suddenly, she stirred in her sleep. Soon, she opened her eyes. "Deidara…" she whispered. "Hmm?" She smiled at his short reply. Fei wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. "Don't leave me," she said. "I won't. Never. I promise, un." And he hugged her. "Sleep, un."

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The next morning, Deidara went to the living room to get the news papers when suddenly he heard a scream. He immediately ran to the source of it and found out that it was coming from Fei's room. With his shaky hands, he opened the door and went in. "My baby… My baby…" The bathroom is open and her faint whimpering was heard from inside. "Fei… Fei!" he ran inside only to find her sitting on the floor bleeding. Her scared eyes looked up to him. "Dei… I-I didn't mean to… Dei my baby… Deidara I'm sorry." She was trying to return the blood back to her by stroking her bloodied thighs upward. He immediately rushed to her and carried her bridal style. She didn't notice that she passed out.

---

Her eyes opened only to see the white walls of a hospital. She looked down at her and saw that she was on a white hospital gown. Suddenly, she realized. "My baby!" she tried to sit up but her body is weak. Tears poured down her eyes as she remembered losing balance in the bathroom and end up hitting herself on the tiles.

She heard the door opened and saw Deidara went in. She looked down in embarrassment. He was so busy attending to the papers. He didn't even greet her. A pang of guilt hit her chest. If she was very careful, if she added extra caution, this wouldn't have happened.

---

They went home after securing that she was fine. Deidara was short with his words and would only talk if asked. She wouldn't talk too. She was too afraid to do so.

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It has been a week since the accident and Deidara hasn't talked to her formally yet. She didn't know if it's him or just her imagination. He was moving away. Fei couldn't feel so much guiltier. She watched as Deidara walked and moved around the house like a robot. She sighed sadly to herself. Deidara was out again. She wondered if seeing her is too annoying to his eyes. If she could've been more careful, all of these wouldn't have happened! She had requested him not to tell anything about this to her parents and he just nodded.

She missed him. She needed him back with her.

---

Later that night, the blonde man sat on his bed as he read a book under the table lamp. Suddenly, the door of his room opened. He looked up from his book and to his surprise; Fei was standing on the doorway. "Fei…" Her eyes were oddly unreadable. No sign of fear, doubt, nervousness, not even love. "What are you doing here, un?" The girl didn't give any response. Instead, she walked closer to his bed. He got out of bed and stood in front of her. "Fei… Is-"he was abruptly cut off as she pressed her lips firmly against his. His cerulean eyes widened as she skillfully moved her lips sensually. She let out a stifled moan as Deidara learned to kiss her back in the same passion. He wrapped his arms around her to deepen what they had started. She pulled away only to say, "Deidara…I need you." He pulled her back and kissed her again.

Noticing her outfit, only a bathrobe, he smirked and began to pull on it. "Deidara, I'm sorry," she whispered, making him stop. "I didn't mean to lose the baby. It was an accident." Tears formed in her eyes, she pulled him closer and kissed him. "I promise, _we'll try again_," she whispered. She sounded so arousing to him that he already got a hard on. "Fei, I thought you still hate me, un… I-" "I don't, never," she kissed him back again. "Deidara, I need you," she murmured lustfully.

He grunted as she pushed him back to bed and crawled over him. "Fei, I need you… "She started undressing him first by pulling of his shirt and throwing it to the floor. Leaning down, Fei caught one of his nipples and sucked it softly. "Mmm…Fei, yes…" he groaned. Then she sucked the other. Soon, she was kissing his bare well-toned chest. "Deidara… You're so hot," she purred seductively. He smirked and sat up to kiss her roughly. He opened her bathrobe and pulled it down from her shoulders; he placed butterfly kisses on her neck shoulders and the sides of her neck. "Mmmaahh…Deidara!"

"You're not wearing anything underneath, are you?" he asked teasingly. She nodded innocently as a blush appeared over her face. He smirked and pushed her down the bed with him on top. He is so handsome. "Naughty girl, un," he spread the yukata open and he licked his lips at the sight of her healthy bouncing breasts. He sucked them one by one and she moaned loudly, wanting for more."Deidara, take me…" she whispered as he went down kissing her area. "I haven't done this, I hope you find it pleasurable," he whispered as he spread her legs and lick her already wet core. She gasped and moaned in pleasure as he fucked her with his tongue. Soon, she came and he licked every bit of her blessing.

Next he took of his pants and let her touch his boxers only to feel his hardness. He let her take it off and she blushed at his size. "Like anything you see?" he chuckled. "I-It's so big," she stuttered, wondering if the thing really fit inside her. He chuckled at her cuteness, "I'm glad you find it that way. Suck me." She obeyed like a good girl and licked it until she deep throated him. He groaned as he felt himself closing to the edge. "Fei, I'm gonna cum!" she almost gagged as he squirted milky semen into her. She swallowed everything.

He pushed her back down the bed and positioned his cock over her entrance. "Fei, I know this would hurt. But I know you can handle this," he murmured. He slid his rock hard cock inside as she gasped in pain. After fully inserting his whole length in, he stopped and asked her, "Are you ready, un?" She nodded and he pulled out slightly and pushed back again. She moaned as he hit his g-spot over and over again. The pleasure was overwhelming that even Deidara almost screamed. "God, Deidara! Faster, Deeper! Oh, harder!" she screamed. "Damn, you're so tight," he moaned loudly.

After a few more thrusts, they cummed heavily. They switched positions and it was her turn to ride him. "Ahhh! Fei-chan, fuck me harder!" he groaned. "Dei-kun, it feel so good!" she moaned as she bounced over his dick. Her healthy breasts jumped as she fucked him making him cum.

For the last time, they had their orgasm. He pulled her close to him and kissed her lips. She was so tired at their lovemaking that she almost fell asleep. "You had fun?" he asked softly. "Hmm," her response was soft. He smiled and caressed her back. "I love you Fei," he murmured. He closed his eyes.

"I love you too, Deidara."

His eyes shot open as he looked down at her smiling form. "W-What..did you just say?" he stuttered. She just giggled and repeated. "I love you too, Deidara," she said louder. He couldn't help but blush and smile. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead, "You never knew how long I've waited for you to say that."

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My first DeidaraxOC lemon love story!!


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